Are you too good for your home, ball?!

Happy Monday!! Here's a fun fact about me in case you didn't know this.

*****

I have been playing golf for almost 15 years and was the 

captain of my high school golf team. I've also taught golf! Here's a throwback! 

Let's not even discuss why my parents framed this and hung it in our house. I think I was in 10th grade in that pic!

I went golfing yesterday with Kurt and my friend Cristina. About 5 years ago, Kurt and I headed to Sports Authority and I forced him to buy some golf clubs. If he was going to date me, he had to get himself into some tight plaid pants, golf shoes, and learn the golf lingo. Just kidding...he was actually anxious to learn!

The best thing about golf is that you can learn how to play at 90 years old and play until your 90 years old. It's one of those sports that you can do forever. And yeah sure there is some question of whether or not golf is a sport. Well it is!! I mean have you seen the bodies on some of them?! Adam Scott. Case in point!

Regardless, our golf outing was fab. 

There was golf. There was some rain. And there was inappropriate dancing

Have you ever golfed before?! Come to Boston! Free lessons for all! (or just an excuse to come visit me!!)

How was your weekend?!

Friday's Letters: Birthday, Disney, and Cow-Shitting

Dear Kurt: My birthday could not have been anymore amazing!! You went above and beyond and I love you SO much! And thanks for listening to me whine for almost a year about how much I wanted that bracelet above that you got me! Dear Motivation: Where are you!? I have zero of you. I need you back pronto! Dear parents relaxing in Turks and Caicos all week: Yeah I am jealous...And thanks Dad for rubbing it in by sending me tropical pics. Dear DisneyWorld: We see you in about 40 days!! Dear TV show I'm watching as I type this: I just watched a cow give birth to a baby cow and it looked like it came out of its ass instead of its cooter.

Link up with Ashley for Friday's Letters!

  

Happy Weekending Friends! Make it a good one! :-)

My pinky fingers are on crack

Back when I was doing gymnastics, I could do a right, left, and middle split. I mean, I thought that was pretty cool. I'm still flexible in most ways, but I can't do much more splitting. The vajayjay usually yells at me if I try.

I look at people who can do these wicked cool things like, lift weights with their tongue, or hoola-hoop for 24 hours, or walk on their hands for hours on end (cough Beau Beau cough). And then I get green with envy.

But then I realize I do have something kind of interesting that I can do (or perhaps obtained from genetics?) Yesterday I sat down at the gym about to do some sit-ups. I noticed a middle age woman staring at my hands as I sat there stretching my legs. I looked down at my hands at what I was doing.

I was doing my weird pinky finger thing I do when I'm chillaxin. I do it without thinking. That bish was totally judging me. What lady, do your pinky fingers move at the speed of light like mine do? Didn't think so.

I videoed for you all. With Music.

Hand Dance from Erica Marie on Vimeo.

Do you have any cool things you can do? Remember that time I videoed my freakishly long tongue licking my nose and elbow? Oh Yea....

24 years ago today at 3am

I burst out of my moms womb and into the world.

Too graphic?

Either way. I am 24 today!!! Let's get gangster

Ahhh 24 years old. I feel like it's flown by!

I wish there was something cool that came with the age of 24. Well I could be morbid and think 1 more year until I'm halfway to 50. or 26 more years until I'm 50. Or 1 more year until I can legally rent a car without paying 4 million Lil Waynes. 

But no. I like to live each moment like it's my last. And I love everything I've learned, been through, and experienced these past 24 years here on Earth. Whether that be operating a car, learning how to put a bra on, or getting through 24 years without ever having to take a shot of alcohol (sorry friends, just can't do it), it's all been absolutely FABULOUS.

And thank the Lord my hair doesn't look like it did when I was 1.5 years old

Here's to 24+ more years! Happy Birthday to lil old me :-)

Wish I could celebrate with all of y'all!

Kurt is taking me to an undisclosed location tonight for my birthday. I know absolutely nada except that he is very sneaky! I'll update you all on the festivities!

Happy Tuesday to you all! 

Friday's Letters: Thanks for the ass shot

Dear Kurt: As I look through various photos of past weekends on the beach, I'd like to personally thank you for the plethora of ass shots I was unaware of...and yeah I saw that super close up of my cheeks. Dear Olympics: Seeing your previews not only makes me SO excited, but it makes me miss gymnastics like whoa. Dear friends: We get a lot of friend time this weekend and I am SO looking forward to it :-) Dear rapper Pusha-T: Okay I like your music, I do...but but your Lil Weezy diss was rude rude rude! Lil Wayne gotchu back HARD. Dear self: When will you realize you're not that gangster?

Happy Friday friends! Link up with Ashley for Friday's Letters

Make it Nasty...at Zumba!

As I type this, I am drinking a glass of wine with frozen berries, thinking about the cake pops I agreed to make for a co-workers birthday, watching Kurt play this absolutely ridiculous stupid annoying stupid game called MineCraft on his computer, and eating my camera lens.

JK about eating it but I am looking through pics.

I don't have all that much to say to y'all. Zumba kicked my ass into kingdom come last night and to be honest I want to curl in a ball and sleep for days. We did this dance to the song MERCY by Kanye West. I think I was sweating from every ounce of my body.

Swoobs. Swass. Swagina

no lie

But really, what's better than a good sweat? To top it off, my instructor has a killer bod and a great attitude that makes me want to just eat, sleep, and dream Zumba and the gym. I mean, look at her!!

That's my Zumba instructor and class! Seriously...if I have any readers from Massachusetts, come take this class. It's an order!  It's one of the best workouts I've ever had. And you can dance. If you know me, you know I love to shake my booty and make it nasty..

Here's a vid a small group of my class did for the website! No I decided not to be on video this day so don't even look for me!!

Have you ever tried Zumba? Do you love it? It's basically my favorite workout! :-)

Beach Bunny

Hi Happy Monday!!

Okay so I went bowling Saturday night and my left ass cheek is so sore. And my right arm. Isn't that so random?

Anyway, yesterday was spent on the boat and at the beach. Getting sun, drinking Skinny Girl out of a Dunkin Donuts cup, pretending I'm in Sports Illustrated (though not nearly as hot...or even close...or at all...), and trying to stick my finger up Kurts bum every hour; a daily occurrence.

Other than that, the weekend was pretty low-key which is fabulous! Besides the argument Kurt and I got into Friday night that caused me to storm out of the house at 11pm and drive aimlessly around while listening to Eminem for 1 hour waiting for Kurt to call me to come back home. 

Ohhhh the lovely stubbornness gene I attained from my mother. But this is another story for another day :-)

Have an amazing day!

Friday's Letters: Duck Face and Snuggle Hours

Dear Duck Face: I continue to see you all over Facebook. Whyyy! (but then again, why do I make the face sometimes?) Dear Birthday: You are wicked close! 24 years old and still gangsta (or so I think) Dear lady who charges $60 an hour to snuggle: No people, I am not a creep-show who googles woman snuggles to get my fix! I saw this on CNN! But this is pretty interesting...I cuddle FO FREE! Dear summer: Sloooow down! I don't want you to be over just yet. I have weird tan lines I need to work on! Dear Kurt: I'm watching you sort laundry. How did I land such a gem? Yeah baby you fold that laundry aww yeah....do it do it!

Link up with Ashley for Friday's Letters! :-)

Happy Friday y'all! Hope you have the best weekend in the world :-)

Champagne and ball sacks

There are times when I come up with ideas of what to blog about. Then there are times where I have a slew of random things on my mind. This is one of those times.

Saturday night I went out to this really cool bar in Boston that is actually inside The Liberty Hotel that actually used to be an old jail. Are ya following!? Earlier that morning I had such a craving for champagne. I have no idea why! So that's what I ordered that night. Champagne. It was $20 a glass. I then proceeded to slam my head against the bar.

How cute is this little sewing pin cushion thing? Do I know how to sew? Not one bit. But I bet if I made this crafty thing I might learn.

Last night I ever-so-nicely asked if Kurt could make me some tea.

Me: Can you make me tea?

Kurt: Where are your tea-bags?

Me: Hanging from your wee wee

Last night I made these chicken enchiladas from the blog Eat Yourself Skinny. HOLY EFFING MOLY. You ned to make these tonight. They were divine! I didn't take a picture. I was too busy scarfing them down! :-)

That's all folks. It's Wednesday. Hump Day. Holla!

The story of the disappearing underwear

I want to tell a story. Not necessarily to all of you because it might make you judge me hardcore, but honestly I love using this blog as an outlet for anything and everything for me to look back on and remember one day. Also, in 15+ years when I’m teaching my daughter about TOM (time of the month), I can tell her this story.

Yes... this is a nasty Aunt Flow story so let’s take a deep breath. Ready?

Back when I was 11 or 12, I heard about TOM and how he may be coming to town soon. I brushed it off. Pssh, I wasn’t going to even think about the nastiness that came with being a girl. But that day came and went pretty easily. I thought, wow; I can handle this. TOM was nice to me for my first time! This will be fine.

I thought wrong. You know how when you were young, it sort of came at all different times, you weren’t exactly sure when and how it was coming? Yeaaa..

Anyway, one morning, I think I was 12, I woke up and it looked like a murderous crime scene. Okay that’s exaggerating. But I think you can guess what I mean. It came unexpectedly and I didn’t know what to do. Luckily my sheets were okay, but everything else I was wearing?

No.

I panicked, went outside, and buried the underwear under the shed in my backyard. Yeah I did that.

A few years later, my dad said he was going to re-build the shed. I almost crapped myself when I got home one day and saw him out there. MY UNDIES! But as my sister and I helped him a bit and got to my secret area of the shed, they were gone! I just assumed some animal was using them as part of its nest, and that’s just NASTY.

Well there’s a brief glimpse into Erica’s youth. Happy Tuesday!

A secret to tell you guys

I have a secret to tell you guys! This is the first summer I have ever worked. EVER. And it's absolutely kiiilllling me! And my lack-of-tan.

I realize this makes me sound like a piece of sheet. Why hasn't she ever worked in the summer? What a lil brat. In high school I had a very small, part time job, and then during college, I worked throughout the entire year as a tour guide so I didn't work during the summer...shh! :-) I freelanced for some newspapers over the summer for some cash money flow, but never had to get up at 7, get ready, and go into an office!

So my point? I've been spending a lot of time outside and on the boat the past few weekends and for the 4th and it makes Sunday nights SO depressing! A few snapshots from the 4th of July where we anchored in the Charles River in Boston with a million other people for one of the best firework displays in the entire world! I invite all of you next year!!

I was at a friends cookout Saturday night and got to talking to some girls she worked with who were from Sweden! They were the sweetest, cutest girls in the world..all tall and blonde. Anyway, one of them was asking how vacations work in America. She went on to say that most companies in Europe have their employees take 2 weeks off every summer. 

HELLO? If I didn't hate flying so much I'd fly to freakin' Europe right now and apply to jobs! Sure, people here like to take vacations in summer, but these people in Le Europe are encouraged and almost forced to take time off during the summer. Come on, Obama..if you want me to stop hating you, start enforcing mandatory summer vacations!

We chilled, grilled, played ladder ball,  swam, and drank Skinny girl (well, I did) yesterday at the beach on the boat. It was pure HEAVEN.

Happy Monday! From a girl who wore a too cheeky bikini and now has a sunburned booty. Gang-Sta.