I went out Friday night with my girl friends for some birthday celebrations!
We hit up a few clubs in Boston and drank and danced the night away! I ordered a drink at the bar and noticed this guy standing next to me was side-eying me.
Well, 20 minutes later, Mr. Side-Eye comes and sits next to me and introduces himself as Paul. He chats with my friends and I for a few minutes, and says he likes my shirt. Then he gets up and goes back to his friends. I give the "what the fuck was that about" look to my friends and we continued our shenanigans.
See my friend on the right? her hair is naturally tight curls. Took me an hour to straighten that mop!
45 minutes later, Paul returned, with a bit more alcohol in his system. He asked what a girl like me was doing at a bar alone. First off, Paul, do you not see my friends sitting next to me? But knowing he was referring to being alone without a guy, I quickly told him that I had a boyfriend. I'm too nice to get all ghetto on his ass and be like "DUDE, I got a mann...piss off."
Paul then started talking about his job, and told me he was a laborer, working with sewage pipes and sewage systems. Then he told me how earlier in the day, a pipe burst by a beach he was working at and it smelled like shit. Wow, Paul...if I was single, this conversation would TOTALLY make me want to pounce on you right then and there.
Then, he asked how old I was so I told him 23. He put his head in his hands and said "OHHH JEEEZ"
I asked if I looked older or younger than that. "OHH no...you look great...I'm just...a lot older," he said. Paul shared he was 39. But to be honest, he LOOKED about 25, no joke. My friend Sarah and I were trying to be nice, saying he didn't look that old, yada yada. Then, he said something to me that inspired this blog post to be shared with you all.
"Well, you're 23 and I'm 39...it could work for a few years, then it would get weird."
Oh Paul. Remember I told you I had a boyfriend? Or are you too busy calculating how our age difference could work out with my fertility clock or something?
And somehow during this night, I texted Shalyn this video. Oyy.
30 comments:
i am a wierdo magnet so the question to that last question is YES!
im in my cube at work and blogging (ssshhhhh!) so i can't watch the video but i can't wait to watch when i get home..is Paul in it?
And you are SO nice...not only do i firmly give all side-eyer-bar-creepers a false name....i typically give a false age and profession.....IF i even talk to them. #meangirl
and did he really say "i'm a laborer." ??? because that is amazing...i'm going to start saying i'm a cube laborer! haah
XO doll face....love that lip shade!
LOVEEE this post! I'm telling you the fake engagement ring works in these scenarios!!
This actually happened to my friend not too long ago, much older guy with a kid and didn't quite pick up on her obvious "leave me alone" hints!
Love the video too!!
Your 23? I'm 25! Maybe a friendship could work??? virtual friendship. And then it might get weird :)
Can you PLEASE help me make sense. You said boyfriend. But facebook says married. What are you!!!! I need to know, so I can sleep at night.
And girl, I LOVE your lip color as well. lipstick and me are best friends.
pps. i want to send you a video this weekend!
HAHAH! POOR POOPY PAUL! that story is awesome. but seriously, go away. that's what i tell most men. hahahha
Hilarious! I meet creepers all the time. I've even had a creeper see me sitting in my car in traffic and follow me to the store just to talk to me. The wedding ring doesn't stop all of them, sadly. I'm a bit of a #meangirl like Ashley ... but I don't even give them a name. All I say is "I'm married, not interested, Thanks, Bye". Short, sweet, and to the point. It gets things done.
I totally laughed out loud at my desk (at which point my co-worker asked what was so funny and I told him) about the sewage pipe. Classy. I bet that gets ALL the chicks ...
XO Jess
hahaha so funny! men are so strange. why would he share with you about working with sewage?! nothing about that would be hot in the least! AND when he found out you were 23, just go with it (for him) he didn't have to share that he could literally have been you dad haha...a VERY young one, but still it would have been possible biologically haha. UGH! So awkward.
I attract the men that don't want to dance, that just want to talk to you. Um, hello! I'm at a bar with a big ass dance floor that you saw me walk off of glistening, do you really think i want to sit here and chat?! NO! haha!
Hhaha wow that guy is pretty gutsy. And oblivious about what girls want, clearly ;)
Belly B :)
um yes, met TONS of weirdos in bars. I wonder how I would act too if i was a guy...
xox dana
thewonderforest.com
Hahaha- I loved reading this story! Oh, Paul... WHO tells a girl about a sewage accident like that?!!
Geeze Erica, you always have the craziest stories from the night out at the bar! LOL Crazy Paul.
what an odd bird he was!! I was hit on by a guy who said he had the same shirt as me, I was wearing a halter top and that I had nice teeth....weird pick up lines
Ugh. Even with a wedding ring AND a baby bump, the weirdos keep a'coming. I have no words for that, or Paul. xoxo
say what? "your drink is empty, do you need some of my juices?" I would punch a guy if he ever said that!
you have nice lips.
"I like your shirt" hahaha!!
omg. "then it would get weird"
hahahaha!!! omg that is HILARIOUS, especially cause my hubs is 15 years older than me.
I needed to see that video to make my happy this morning :)
This post cracks me up. I'm really not sure what this guy was thinking. Maybe guys make bets on who can be the weirdest creepster and pick up the most girls, kind of like how we give out fake names sometimes? Sadly, I don't think that's the case. These guys are probably just being themselves. You know how those "laborers" are. Looks like you handled it well, girl!
hahah love it! Some guys! lol And I agree with Chelsea maybe they make bets....lol
Becca
http://blondeslogic.blogspot.com
Aaah, I would run away as fast as my legs could take me! Men can be so gross sometimes. Why would a 39 year old man not be there with his friends? Or even worse, not be married, with children? Maybe because he smells like shit all the time. Ha!
Lol. This is priceless! I love Paul!!! Hahaha.
I SWEAR! seriously.. swear... guys never really hit on me at bars. Or maybe I am too busy drinking to notice.
But guys really do say THE WEIRDEST things... its a wonder they all seem to be single...
Hope the night out was fabulous!
CarissaExplainsItAll
I wanna get fabulous drunk video texts haha
This whole post is hilarious! such weirdos out there!
hahahahahahhaha i just laughed out loud....for a few years then it'd get weird.
by the way, nice shirt ;)
thanks for being a newest follower of me!! find me on twitter..
iamamychildress.
peace girl and thanks for the love.
weird guy? uh every time! lol. paul makes me mad that he has the name paul. creeper
my last outing, paul and his friend left me and my gal at a table so they could get their bromance on. I got hit on by some way to young marines, then rescued by a pair of married guys who yelled at me when i asked what there is to do in this tine "calm down lady i'm married!" WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! weirdo. i just wanted to scope out my new town.
Great photos!
http://bythecanonviewfinder.blogspot.com/
LMAO! WOW...
first, aren't you a lil' hottie :)
second, i was get hit on by the biggest creepers eva!
third, we need to go out one nice when i move to PA...whadda ya say?? ;)
haha, WOW! at least he recognized it would get awkward...eventually....?
Hahahaha. What a weirdo! I can't believe that he told you that he worked in sewage. Haha. Awkward!!
HAHA what a psycho weirdo! I can't believe him! EWW! LOL
Love the video of you at the end! You are too funny!
XOXOOX
Thanks for the shout out boo boo!
Xoxoxo.
Oh and that boy be stupid! What was he thinking? I bet it happens when you are in Austin but tell Kurt he can rest at night because I am the world's best wingman.
lol, i love this post! last weekend i had some random dude on the dance floor come up to me and basically dry humped the fuck out of me for like a sec and before i could even turn around to push him off he grabbed my friend's boob and practically ran away! definitely some crazy shit. we avoided every guy in a red shirt that night since thats all we could remember about him lol
xo
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