Life's unanswered questions

Consider this a random stream of consciousness....

The other night I was sleeping and woke up to myself clutching my stuffed animal like there was no tomorrow (sorry Kurt?). It got me thinking--how do those parents sleep with their newborn babies in their own bed with them?! Clearly I know nothing about babies because I do not have one yet, but for real, how do 2 adult human sized people sleep with a teeny tiny baby without worrying about hurting it!? I don't think I ever could, only because I flip and flop like a pornstar in my sleep and wake up with the comforter turned the other way and pillows all over the place.

How come pitbulls are given such a bad rap? Last weekend at my friends graduation party, I got to meet her brothers pitbulls and they seriously couldn't stop licking my face and being cute as buttons. But after they licked me they chewed out my eyeballs and spit them into oncoming traffic of course. I think every dog can be dangerous---it' just how you raise them! I mean, I knew a poodle from a friends neighborhood who used to growl and chase people. Can you imagine a fluffy thing with pink pigtail bows chasing you with scary teeth?

I don't understand why Kurt (and guys in general) can't just say they want to watch The Bachelorette. Every week during The Bachelor, Kurt would say "I'm not watching this...I'm going to go play a computer game." But there he was, week after week, watching and laughing and then pretending not to. Just like the other night with Bachelorette---there he was, watching and laughing and then pretending not to! I even caught him smiling...at shirtless guy.

And finally, I don't understand how I have a boyfriend sometimes. Really though, have you ever looked through your photos on your phone and seen the most heinous pictures ever--like what were you thinking taking this selfie like this? I went through pics last night just deleting/rearranging and was just awestruck. Dear self--you sometimes look like Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohen's psychotic love child...stop taking these pictures!

Happy Hump Day friends!