Chronicles of Kurt: What it's like to sleep in bed with me

Words from my lovely boyfriend, Kurtis Jackson.

Okay so his name is Kurt not Kurtis, and his last name is not Jackson, but Kurtis Jackson is the name of 50 cent and 50 cent is a certified GANGSTA!! Just like Kurt. ;-)

Do not worry. Kurt does not usually dress this way. Halloween--Lil Weezy. Holler

Sharing a bed with me is a PRIVILEGE. As Kurt will explain ;-)

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So it seems that all these other blog-o-sphere bfs/husbands have been writing about their favorite people. YOUR MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK BAD! I can’t write about the lady on the train i met the other day who talked about hardcore sex and drugs, so I will have to go with my second choice, the lovely Erica!

When we moved into our apartment last year, we decided to put our bed in the middle of the room... We each had our side, she never had to climb over me, and she never wanted to sleep on my side. Fast forward to August. She begs and pleads to move the room around so the bed can be against a wall because as she put it, "I love sleeping against a wall!" So 11pm on a Tuesday night, I finally give in and we re-arrange the room. For a few weeks, we are at peace. Life is good. After a few weeks go by, she decides she wants to sleep on my side. The outside.

Now, when she sleeps, she is a complete bed hog. Covers, mattress, EVERYTHING. So I like to sleep on outside so instead of being stuffed against a wall, I can hang half off the bed and still be able to breath.

Recently though, she has been asking to sleep on my side more and more often, leaving me to suffer against the wall. OH and did I mention the sea of stuffed animals? Not just 1 or 2 or 5 or 10. More like 20-30 - and i think they are breeding.

(These are just a few!!)

So quick math. Erica takes up nearly a full 3/4 of the bed. Stuffed animals take another 1/4 (and there’s no negotiating, they cannot be removed). So this leaves poor Kurt with only several inches of space at most.

So to prevent this abuse, I have been trying my best to sleep on the outside. Last Wednesday night; I go to sleep on the outside. When I wake up IM AGAINST THE WALL!!??! Not sure how that happened...

Luckily, she knows I love her dearly - and that stealing where I sleep won’t stop that. :-)

My life be like ooo-ahhh

Okay so my life isn't really ooo-ahh, but sometimes I like to pretend it is :-)

I don't think I ever blogged about this but now I am. So in early October, Kurt and I went on a stay-cation. What's a stay-cation you ask!? Well, we got a fancy hotel room in Boston and spoke in British accents pretending we were elite and awesome!

Okay just kidding about the accent thing.  We live about 10 minutes from Boston and thought it'd be a blast to just spend a night there, no worries, go out to dinner, get a good buzz, not have to worry about driving home, ya know, the good stuff.

It was honestly just so GOOD to get away from the norm for a night. Kurt and I have this weird obsession with hotels. Literally, we always talk about hotel rooms and are constantly talking about hotel beds and hotel jacuzzis. It's sick. Especially since we both know what kind of naughty business goes on in said hotel jacuzzis. Like porn stuff right? We just pretend they were installed JUST for us ;-)

We went for dinner to one of the most AMAZING pizza places in the entire universe. Seriously. If you ever visit Boston, go there...and take me! :-)

We got serenaded from Italian men, ate delicious pizza, and got a pitcher of beer spilled on us from some Minnesota tourists!

It truly was a great night. We had no cell phone or computer distractions. And we were only 15 minutes from home in case I forgot something like my underwear or contact case. Luckily I didn't, but ya know, just in case! So if you can, try to have a stay-cation. Stay in your town, your closest city. Stay with your friends, your loved one, your family! No matter how close or how many times I go to Boston, it gets more and more beautiful each time.

Happy Tuesday and hip hip cheerio! (said in British accent)

ALSO, I'm on Hollie's blog today for a lil interview awww yeah!

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of

People...Work has been kicking my butt and all I wanna do when I get home is lay on my fat bum bum and watch reality shows and eat food. I have been a bad blogger! But don't you worry...I am back!!

So this past weekend I went to the big NYC!

I'm sorry...but who in their RIGHT FRIGGEN MIND has enough money to live in New York City? Please give me your jobs...because I am envious. There is nothing I want more in this little thing called life than to live in NYC for at least one year. I want to feel the fabulousness that is Sex and the City.

Kurt and I lived life. We went to a rooftop bar in the city that overlooked the Empire State Building. We got 10 dollar beers and 20 dollar martini's and said "fuck it, it's NYC who cares!" Sorry for the orangey pics...there were heat lamps all over! Ya know, to keep the swagga warm.

Then we got into a night club illegally! Okay well we walk in, and see it's $40 EACH for cover charge. Whatever, we blame the fact that its NYC and everyone is fabulous and wiping their bums in $100 bills.

So we walk towards the ticket booth and this bouncer whispers "hey...come here." We go, and he says he can give us 2 tickets into the club for just $40. Kurt asks for him to show us the tickets and they look legit.

Meanwhile, I'm shaking in my boots thinking this is a scam and he's gonna see if we buy into it and then we are locked in fabulous jail. But nope, he lets us in for $40 and pockets the money for himself. Sneaky lil dude! But we were happy.

It was a jungle theme night and let me tell you. New Yorkers have no shame. I saw a girl in a glittery bra shaking her groove thang with her ass cheeks hanging out. DAMN GIRL

Needless to say, NYC still has my heart and I am dying to live there. I LOVE NY!

Oh and just in case you want some more fabulous-ness, I'm at one of my blog besties Sabrina's today talking about that one time I was promiscuous. Yep you heard right!